How to Handle Confrontation



Your peer ambushes you on Monday morning as you walk into the office. In front of everyone she raises her voice in rage about the mess you left in the meeting room. You take responsibility and are glad to clean up the mess. However, the tirade continues with spewing, name calling, and threats.

The average employee will spend 2.8 days a week dealing with conflict. 25% of employees report that conflict leads to illness or absence from work.

How do you handle confrontation? Use CAREfrontation.


Connect first. Create a “we” mentality. “We are on the same team.” Then, try the SOFTEN approach:

Open body language
Lean Forward
Touch appropriately
Eye contact
and Nod

Assert second. Being passive and hiding in a shell never got the turtle anywhere. Being aggressive like a shark only creates a blood bath. Being assertive like a wise owl creates a win-win-win–a win for you, the other person, and for the company. Being assertive is feeling your emotions and still being courageous.

Resolve third. Finding a resolution and fixing the problem will not work until you connect first and assert second. Resolution requires brainstorming and innovative thinking.

Empower fourth. The relationship, self esteem, and productivity of the company need encouragement. Each of us is human and makes mistakes. However, by empowering and believing in each other we can create momentum for outrageous success.

Brent O’Bannon creates momentum for outrageous success. He is known as America’s Momentum Coach for individuals, couples in business, and companies. For more information go to and

Image: Liz Noffsinger /

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